"Founder, CEO, and literal mother of the entire editorial staff. She processes 400 submissions (and eggs) per day. Her word is final, mostly because she controls the pheromone supply."

"Renowned for his controversial paper 'Why Sand is Good.' Dr. Smith is known for his rigorous peer review process, which involves biting the manuscript to test for structural integrity."

"Specializes in Crumbs and Sticky Spots. Has been stuck to a lollipop stick since 2023 but continues to dictate edits remotely."

"Ensures all research adheres to the Colony Prime Directives. Primary method of conflict resolution: Acid Spray."

"He turns water into sugar water. Preaches the gospel of 'The Great Picnic in the Sky.' Followed by 12 disciples (who are also ants)."

"Responsible for fetching coffee, carrying objects 50x his weight, and being used as a living bridge when the printer cable is too short."